Greetings Human

This is my personal site. Here you can find information regarding me. You can also access secret government data which details the ultimate conspiracy: FAT PEOPLE!

Yes, it's true. But WAIT. Do me a favor, don't mention this to anyone. Don't utter a single word. As a matter of fact, I never wrote this, and you never read this. I WILL kick you! Unless you are female then you will be spanked horribly.

Warning: This website will self destruct in 30 seconds, unless you use Internet Explorer, in which case it probably already did.